Eye goes down, Filter goes up.

No I'm not in Mexico. I'm chillin' in Norman, trying to beat the ultimate depression of boredom. So far it has been successful.

I met some girls at Winan's for coffee this morning, just to chat. We were all feeling the Holiday-Break-Cabin-Fever-Bug. It was good to visit about life, love and growth. They are both married, so they had plenty to offer about the heart and head connection. What an interesting match these two difficult parts of the human body are to understand. Men are challenging to figure out, but I am here to let you in on a secret, WOMEN ARE DAMNED MESSES.

The most notable topic discussed over toffee bark today was "the wink". You know what I'm talking about. You do it, you see it. What is it all about?

Now granted, there are a few different versions of the wink and we (most specifically women) are called to interpret them.
1) "The shoot and wink."- Casual, friendly, playful exchange of acknowledgement.
2) "The across the room wink." - More romantic in nature, a tid bit of flirt in a crowded room. Makes the heart flutter.
3) "The inside joke wink" - Don't tell the other person, but I'm just kidding, and I'm letting you in on it.
4) "The encouragement wink" - Someone is nervous, and you want to give them a boost of confidence.

The possibilities are endless people, but these are the most common.

Our consensus, within the coffee shop crew, is that you really have to be secure in your friendship or relationship, to use the #2 wink. We think this wink is reserved for couples only, otherwise it's sleezy and should be ignored by all women. #1 wink is fun and should be used in all levels of friendship, but don't over do it because it looses it's comedic value. #3 wink, I personally enjoy, especially when children are involved. #4 wink doesn't happen as often, but can be very useful when necessary.

Why the beef with the wink? Just like any other form of flirting, girls are constantly trying to read into signals from the opposite sex. We know the men are doing it too. Body language is fascinating and frustrating. Going all the way back to elementary school playgrounds. If a girl is chasing a boy, or visa versa, she is definitely sending a signal. As we get older they are not quite as obvious but readable non-the-less. The touching of the arm in conversation, grooming (pulling hairs of shirts), brushing up against, crossing legs towards, twirling hair, whispering close to, yada yada yada. You know what I'm talking about. This is the art of a historically long, beautiful, miserably awkward dance. I want you to know I like you but I don't want to tell you, I just want you to see me wink. AHHHHH. Great feeling, but it will drive you to drink, it really will.

So my advice men, and you ladies too, avoid the wink. Or if you are going to wink you better try to quickly follow it up with either a DTR (define the relationship) or a date invitation. And for the love of Pete, don't wink at another girl if you want the girl you like to get jealous. Please............Save me hours of heart-breaking conversations with helpless co-eds. For me, seriously.