Singing the Blues

Over the past week I have been experiencing what one of my friends called the "post vacation blues". I think a little might have to do with the fact that the long break is over and now it's time to get focused and get back into the swing of things, but it could be some other stuff too. It could be the new year, with all the reflecting on the past year, which isn't a bad thing, and shouldn't be depressing but for some reason is. I'm looking forward to the new year and making some improvements (resolutions). For some reason looking to the good of the new has me obsessed with the bad of the old, like it's some huge mountain that I can't seem to muster the courage to start climbing. It could also be the weather, and how lonely my apartment was when I was iced in. It could be that now that I've gotten caught up with 24, I am forced to wait until Monday to find out how Bauer is going to save the day instead of rushing to Blockbuster to get my fix. It could be that I feel empathy for all those pitiful people that had their hopes of stardom dashed on national television by the that all so feisty Brit on American Idolatry last night. Like I said it could be many things.

I do know that these lyrics brought me to tears on the way over to this coffee shop today. I 'm thinking this might have something to do with my blues. (Could it be that my sin is getting me down and that I'm believing lies? Surely not.)

"Doubting Thomas"

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothin's safe
Oh me of little faith

I've highlighted the portions that are getting me right in the jugular.

Tookies